I feel like a new woman today. Little Man slept almost 8 hours last night! Some of you may not care or understand, but this is one of the most exciting things that could happen to me right now. 
After a little breakfast, he then slept long enough for me to take a shower, eat breakfast, unload the dishwasher, and do a bunch of laundry-related tasks among other things — all before 11 o’clock! These are all very normal, mundane things, but I haven’t been able to do that since before he was born.
Sadly, I think part of it has to do with him not feeling so well. Poor baby has been fussy, clingy, and gassy the past two days. We balanced a productive morning with an afternoon mostly full of nursing, cuddling, and rocking (which is productive in a completely different way, I suppose).
I’m also wearing a pair of non-maternity jeans today, which goes quite a ways in helping me feel more like my old self again.
When a child is born into this world, God draws his hand out from near his own heart and lends something of himself to the parent, and says, “Keep it till I come.” –Henry Ward Beecher
Initially I was going to post my first thoughts on new motherhood within the first few weeks of Sam’s arrival, with pictures and everything. I started, but quickly realized my life with a newborn was not conducive to blogging. Not baby-related? Can’t be easily done one-handed while sitting on the couch? Isn’t necessary for life to proceed? Not likely to get done in a timely manner.
Life is beginning to even out again and a new pattern is emerging. It is hard to believe that this little man who has so totally captured my heart is already eight weeks old. (I have a feeling I’m going to be repeating that sentiment over and over in the years to come.) I remember life before his first breath of life, but it also seems somehow distant.
Pre-baby I was determined not to become one of those people who cannot relate to life without kids. I was worried (probably overly so) about “Sarah the mom” replacing “Sarah the person.” I’ve come to realize that I’m not a completely different person, I’ve just added a new aspect, perspective, and experience I did not have before. That being said, the newborn period is designed to completely monopolize mom’s time, focus, and energy. It is humbling to care for a little person that is wholly dependent on me for everything. He can’t do a single thing for himself! (A good reminder of how I should be relying on my Heavenly Father.) It is also a huge time drain, but I don’t mind (usually!) as I know this time is very short in the long run.
My sleep-deprived mind has moments of clarity, but rather than continue on in paragraphs that would demand a logical flow, it’s time to switch to bullet points as I try to recap the last eight weeks.
- Love. Hard work. Fulfillment. Tiredness. Joy. Yes, I’ve had moments of exhaustion and self-doubt, but I’ve also experienced moments of pure joy and thankfulness for this helpless babe. I’m trying to treasure each moment as I know each stage will pass quickly in the grand scheme of things.
- To quote his grandma who stayed with us for a few days during the first week, Sam is one of the most content babies I’ve seen. He cries only to express an obvious need if we don’t get the right idea after some fussing and has rarely been hysterical. His usual cry is short and at about 50% volume. We don’t take this for granted and are very thankful for a calm baby!
- Immediately postpartum, I reveled in sleeping on my back again and though I didn’t usually have trouble sleeping while pregnant, side sleeping is much more comfortable again too. Pretty much sleeping is great and I managed to get about seven hours (broken into little chunks, of course) each night in the early weeks. I was feeling pretty great overall! Then I hit the six week mark and the little chunks of sleep started to catch up with me even though I was still getting good total sleep. This shouldn’t have surprised me, but somehow it still did. I might be working off my sleep debt for awhile.
- After just one week, I started learning why so many moms treasure the breastfeeding relationship. There is something very fulfilling about satisfying your baby’s biggest need. Nursing has been a breeze and the two of us started to get into a groove from the beginning. Even though I’ve always been a strong proponent of breastfeeding, part of me wondered if it’d be weird. Turns out it’s come fairly naturally and instinctively for us. (Breast pads, on the other hand, are weird. TMI? Sorry.)
- True to his hobbit name, Sam enjoys breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, supper, as well as midnight snacks.
- One of my big worries in bringing Little Man home was the dogs. How would they react? Would they view him as an intruder or quickly accept him into our family pack? Would Mochi-dog try to lick him constantly? Well, the dogs have been fantastic! They’ve exceeded our expectations. Keiko-dog had been around babies before so we thought she’d do well and she has. She gently sniffs him all over and doesn’t try to lick too often. We’ve had to really enforce “no lick” with Mochi-dog, and while it’s obvious she still wants to lick him (and does occasionally sneak one in) she has been overall very respectful. In fact, she acts sort of like Sam is her puppy. Think Nana from Peter Pan. We think they are going to be good friends. As expected, barking doesn’t bother him at all. He can sleep right through both dogs telling off the mailman.
- For several weeks, I would wake up to the terrifying sensation that I had fallen asleep while feeding the baby and he was about to fall off the bed down near my knees. I’d wake up and take a few seconds to realize he was safely in his bassinet just a few feet away. I think this happened in part because I’d feel Keiko-dog moving around down by my knees and irrationally think it was the baby. When I do nod off in bed while nursing, he’s always still securely in my arms and in no danger.
- 8-9 feedings a day at 30-45 minutes each is almost a full-time job in itself. Thankfully that’s a very special job. (I don’t think he’s a particularly efficient eater though he’s gaining weight at a good clip.)
- While a good night time sleeper, naps are a different story. He sleeps great if I’m holding him or he’s in the wrap, but wakes quickly if I try to put him down. He’s taken a few naps in his crib as of late, but nothing consistent. He’s slept 6+ hours a night a few times (a-maz-ing!), but again nothing consistent. Usually we get a long stretch (about 3-4 hours) to start the night, followed by 2 hour intervals.
- Jeff went back to work after a week off and has continued working from home. So far so good! If Sam continues to be happy and content (fingers-crossed) this arrangement just might work. You know, until he starts teething or something.
- Everyone says, “Sleep when the baby sleeps,” and they are right. I’ve had a few rough days (when tears may or may not have occurred), and they have always been when I’m overtired.
- I gained about 30 pounds during pregnancy and lost 20 pounds within the first week! I wish I would have thought to weigh myself sooner after delivery for a comparison. Moderation and healthy eating pays off! I’ve been just 5 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight for weeks. Now, my pre-pregnancy shape is a totally different matter altogether. I can fit into just about all my old clothes, they just don’t look as flattering or feel as comfortable as before. Since I’m a little vain and like to be comfortable, I am still wearing a lot of maternity pants, shorts, and dresses. I need to start incorporating more exercise into my day.
- Little man has a rigorous daily to-do list: eat, sleep, poop, make funny faces, repeat. This was true in the very beginning, but we’ve now added smile, “talk” to mommy, and tummy time to the list. This kid has it rough, I tell ya.
- I ventured out on my own with the baby for the first time after about a week and a half to get some basics like dog food and diapers. It felt like a huge accomplishment and was very freeing to know I could do it. Now it’s totally no big deal, it just takes more time, effort, and planning. But if I’m overly tired or haven’t been able to shower, then it just doesn’t happen.
- Having a dishwasher has been AH-mazing. If we didn’t have it, we might be splurging on paper plates right now. The kitchen remodel ending up being more stressful than we anticipated (more on that later), but was definitely worth it in the end. I’m so thankful we were able to do it before the baby arrived. Can a dishwasher count as a favorite piece of baby gear?
- Jeff is a terrific dad (as I knew he would be). It fills my heart to overflowing to see father and son together.
- Some pregnant women have trouble with acne and breakouts, but I’ve experienced the opposite. My skin was great during pregnancy, and now is reverting back to old problems. Ah, hormones. Also, no one told me about postpartum night sweats. THAT was annoying.
- The number of things I can do one-handed is growing. Unfortunately, blogging isn’t currently on that list.
- I am a very heavy sleeper. I mean, a seriously heavy sleeper. Just ask anyone who’s lived with me. Though everyone told me I wouldn’t sleep through my baby’s cries in the night, but I still worried I would. Turns out “everyone” was right. It’s amazing how the littlest fuss can wake me now.
- My hips don’t pop anymore. This is symbolic of how my body has permanently changed. I suppose it’s actually a good thing and my hips certainly feel much better than they did during pregnancy. It does make me wonder about fitting into some of my old clothes though. Just how much did my hips move while pushing the kiddo out?
- Sam gave us his first real smile a few days after the 6 week mark. Boy, I love his smiles! They are one of the best things I’ve ever seen.
- I’d totally forgotten about how the soft spot on babies’ heads pulses. So weird!
- We go to bed like old folks now. The clock hits 9:30 and we start thinking about heading up to bed. Our bedtime routine is quite a bit longer these days what with a last baby feeding, diaper change, and change into pajamas. The light might not be out at 9:30, but this is a significant change from our pre-baby night owl habits.
- Different situations work for different families, but I am SO glad I’m not back at a boring office job right now. I can’t fathom leaving him everyday!
1 Week Old:
2 Weeks Old:
3 Weeks Old:
4 Weeks Old:
5 Weeks Old:
6 Weeks Old:
7 Weeks Old:
8 Weeks Old:
I am so totally in love with this little man and feel very grateful that I get to be his mommy!
A couple humorous things happened over the weekend that are worth recording for my own memories and I thought you all might get a laugh or a smile out of them too.
A few nights ago, we were all in bed (dogs included, of course) and I was feeding the baby before turning out the light. Jeff had fallen asleep beside me, but got up to use the bathroom as I was putting a sleeping Sam in his bassinet next to our bed. When Jeff got back into bed, the following conversation ensued:
Me: I love you, babe.
Jeff: What?
Me: I love you.
Jeff: What?
Me: I love you.
Jeff: Why are you telling me this?
Me: ‘Cause.
Jeff: Okay, I love you too.
Then he rolled over and turned out the light. I recounted this story to him the next night and he had absolutely no memory of the conversation or even of getting up to go to the bathroom.
The next incident occurred at our annual church picnic on Sunday afternoon. I often wear Sam in our stretchy wrap when we’re out and about and I want to be hands free and have a happy baby. A lady with whom I am only generally acquainted came up to me and said that she saw me from across the yard and thought I had a giant tumor on my chest! Sam doesn’t have much hair to speak of and we have the same skin tone. The wrap is also a light tan color and I had a cardigan over it. She went on to explain that as she moved closer she began to see what was going on and then I turned a bit and she could see clearly that the “tumor” was just a baby head poking out. She assured me that she was greatly relieved that I didn’t have a giant tumor.
With little fanfare, this earth lost one of its great residents on Tuesday morning. She slipped away quietly and I can only imagine the rejoicing in heaven and the great joy in her heart as she finally met her Lord face to face.
This woman with an easy, infectious laugh and a smile big enough to fill a whole room (I can’t help but smile myself through my tears as I think of them) was my beloved Aunt Ruth. Technically she was my great aunt, my grandma’s sister. There were five sisters (and two more who died in infancy) born to Swedish immigrants in the early 20th century: Esther, Judy, Ruth, Elizabeth, and Evelyn. Together, these women left a powerful mark on and rich heritage for their large extended family of which I am privileged to be a part.
Aunt Ruth never married but, as her obituary states, her “love was her Lord and her family.” I’m a living testimony of the love she lathered on her many nieces and nephews — 160 in total, all the way down to the great- great- greats. She could tell you about every single one! She taught Sunday School at her church for over 60 years. I remember listening to her tell me stories about the kids she taught and the special church families in her life. She shared Christ with hundreds, perhaps thousands of kids. When I left for college she faithfully prayed for me (and my roommate!) by name every week along with the other family members away at school. She always took the time to listen to me, talk with me, and tell me stories from her past. During my teenage years, she always called to wish me a happy birthday. She taught me by example to love my Swedish heritage and be proud of where I came from.
Friday morning family and friends gathered to remember and celebrate this faithful life on what would have been her 99th birthday. I hear that the family even sang “Happy Birthday” to her at her graveside. I think she’s having a better time celebrating where she is now, but the rest of us sure will miss her in the meantime.
I miss writing and blogging. I’ve been trying to jot down some of my head composing as I can since it never seems to be quite as good when I come back to an idea or even a particular sentence later. However, lately this most often comes in the middle of the night as I’m trying to fall back asleep after feeding the baby. Why is it that I have such clarity of thought in the stillness and quiet of the night? (Maybe it is hereditery. Thanks, Dad.) Hopefully these nocturnal snippets will become full-length posts in due time. You know, before Sam starts school.
I have lots of things I want to write about and many pictures to post. I hope to start blogging more regularly soon. Life is a new kind of busy in this season and my hands are full. Literally. But life is good and my heart is full too. More to come later…
Last Sunday, after a two-week hiatus, we got back to our usual breakfast and movie night. It felt great to pick up our weekly tradition, knowing that a lot of things change when adding a baby but much can go on as before.
On tap for the evening’s entertainment was a quirky, low-budget comedy from 1980 called The Gods Must Be Crazy. This film was Jeff’s pick and even so he was a bit nervous that either of us would like it. My comedy tastes are, well, hard to pin down. I’m pretty picky when it comes to this genre.
I’m happy to report that we both LOVED this film. (Hence why I felt compelled to write this review.) It starts out sounding very much like a National Geographic documentary with a narrator introducing a group of isolated African bushmen living in the Kalahari Desert and their run-in with a glass Coke bottle. We leave that story to see a bumbling guerilla group attempt an assassination in the capital city. We cut away again to introduce a woman leaving her city newspaper job to teach at a mission school in the African countryside and a [soon-to-be love struck] scientist living and researching in the same area. These three story lines all come together with hilarious results. It boarders on the absurd, and yet I don’t always (usually?) like absurdist comedies. Or slap-stick (which is also hysterically included). And yet this movie hits everything just right.
In some ways I feel hard pressed to recommend it because I find it hard to predict who will enjoy it, yet at the same time I found it so laugh-out-loud funny that I can’t imagine anyone not liking it. Maybe I like it because it feels genuine, something many modern comedies lack (in my opinion).
The trailer gives a pretty good taste of what to expect:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GorHLQ-jLRQ]
If you’re looking for something funny, clean, and out of the ordinary, The Gods Must Be Crazy might be for you. Or not.
